This piece was inspired by a very difficult conversation most of us used to go through with our girlfriends. What started off as a fun discussion about marriage and relationships turned into an episode of “African men-bashing” for everything they were not. To my dismay, all the girls, most of whom happened to be African-born confessed their lack of interest in dating African men. Their main argument was that African men simply cannot accommodate or in their own words “handle” the successful, modern African woman.
It’s not surprising to hear some women swearing to never marry from a particular race, tribe or culture. But as someone currently happily married to a wonderful African gentleman, I couldn’t help but feel totally uncomfortable and displeased with the misconceptions about African men, especially coming from other African women.
In every race, there are stereotypes, both cultural and social that define men and women. We’ve all heard all kinds of myths about African men. While it is wise to consider certain aspects of the person you wish to date, it is important that you do not generalize based on experience, and that you draw your conclusions based on facts and not myths. Not every African man is controlling or possessive; not every African man believes that a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Actually, the modern African gentleman is quite the opposite.
I strongly believe that African men of this particular generation are the ‘cream of the crop’, however our women focus so much on their flaws that we fail to recognize how exceptional they are. It is certainly an opportunity missed.
Regardless of the kind of impression you have of the African man, there are certain characteristics that make him the most lovable. A closer look at some of these characteristics reveals why most ladies, whether African or foreign, should consider dating the African man.
So in case you do not know or forgot, here is a reminder as to why the modern African gentleman is the one to catch. Click next to continue:
They are Educated
Statistics show that African men today are some of the most educated and brightest around the world. Whereas their counterparts may settle for a bachelors degree, they are more likely to pursue a graduate degree or higher. Higher education is very important to them and they work very hard to attend the best schools. So if you think you cannot find an African man that meets your education level, think again!
They Value Marriage
The African society places a lot of value on marriage and many traditions consider the union of man and woman as a sacred rite of passage. Every African man is expected to go through several initiation stages, one of which is matrimony. Marriage is an occasion that marks a man’s transition to another stage of life while integrating him into a bigger sphere of meaning and respect. To most African men, marriage is one of the greatest achievements in life and they will do whatever needs to be done to protect their marriage.
They Work Hard
Every African man grows up knowing that he has an obligation to provide for his family. He will therefore make the necessary sacrifices to put bread on the table. Being the head of the family, the society expects the African man to guarantee his family a good life, ensuring they are well fed and educated. In the African society, a man who can’t feed his family is considered a total letdown. These traditions have succeeded to pass through generations despite the western civilization.
They Make Great Chefs
African men learn to survive on their own from an early age. It’s therefore quite rare to find a real African man who doesn’t know how to prepare a nice meal. Although women do most of the cooking in the African society, men inevitably learn how to prepare their mother’s favorite recipes. A good case in point is the ward winning South African chef Reuben Riffel who holds great titles such as SA Chef of the year (2004), Eat Out restaurant of the Year (2004) and Unilever Chef of the Year (2007).
They Are Fashionable
The modern African gentleman has a great sense of style. Being very conscious of his appearance, he devotes a great deal of effort and attention to his fashion. This is very important to him because he understands that it is part of his image. And as he endeavors to turn heads in every room he enters, he goes the extra mile to achieve this.
They are Romantic
Gone are the days where African men only kept their wives in the kitchen at home. The modern African gentleman has great taste and wants to impress his partner. Fancy romantic getaways is part of the norm, and the woman can expect romantic surprises frequently. A first date with him is quite extraordinary. He will show up well dressed, smelling good, and will most likely sweep you off your feet.
They Are Achievers
When you consider influential personalities such as Nelson Mandela, Kofi Annan, Desmond Tutu and many others, there is no doubt that African men are real achievers. Even the US President Barrack Obama, the world’s most powerful leader, is half African. After years of captivity and inferiority complex, the African man wants to make his presence felt and will go the extra mile to achieve his dreams.
They are Feminists!
The Modern African man does not conform to stereotypes about roles of men and women. They recognize that marriage is a partnership and does not limit their woman to certain societal expectations. They support and encourage their women, and believe in equality for all.
They are Family-Oriented
If there is one thing the Modern African man dreams of, it is to have a family of their own some day. This is very important to him, and is the reason for his hard work. His goal is to find a woman who shares the same values and settle down, and have lots of children to take over his businesses when he is frail someday.
They are Well-Cultured
Culture is very important to the modern African man, and they look for a woman who shares the same value. They want a home that is culturally sensitive, and want to ensure that their children grow up with a strong sense of culture and identity.
Despite all the claims of chauvinism, highhandedness, and violence, the African man has proved to be a polite, caring and well-mannered being. My advise to single women is not to allow the myths and stereotypes to miscloud your judgment. Although not all of them will have these traits, give yourself the opportunity to get to know them, and then make a sound decision based on facts and not what you’ve heard.